I wake up at the crack of dawn to get myself ready. I nurse the baby prior to getting dressed and I make a quick breakfast (yes, not fully dressed). After getting dressed and laying the baby back down, I’m off to work for about 8 hours. When I get in the house I immediately wash my hands because the baby will be thrown on me so hubby can go to work. I cook, nurse the baby, check to make sure big brother has done his homework and had a good day at school. I kiss the hubby goodbye and then get the baby ready for his night time routine. After straightening up various areas in the house, I make sure big brother is getting ready for bed and finally I can look through my closet for clothes for tomorrow. Let’s just hope the baby is still sleep so I can take a quick nap before his middle of the night feeding.

Some of you moms can relate to this or may have to alter it a bit if you are a single mom or if your hubby helps out a bit more or bit less (or causing you to check after him creating double the work). However much help he gives, it still feels like you are doing the bulk of the work. Women use to complain about having to do so much and not having enough time or help to get it all done, however, part of having “it all” is balance, and making sure it all gets done. We have decided to stop complaining, because complaining doesn’t get the job done, in fact, you can continue to become more frustrated and maybe even overwhelmed. We have decided to just do it. But now your husband is looking at you as if you are a mad woman because you have neglected a few things in the process, yourself. You are now looking worn and torn and completely tired. But you tell yourself you are fine and keep pushing because it is all getting done, but at what expense?

Becoming Supermom did not happen over night. Over the weeks, months, or years, you have tried to allow others to help you, but there help was just not good enough. When your kid cleans the bathroom, it’s just not clean enough. When your hubby gives the little one a bath, he doesn’t do it right. Heck he can’t even look at the baby right in your eyes. Nothing is ever good enough or clean enough so you take it upon yourself to get it done. Now that you have leaned the balancing scale completely to one side you are drained and tired and do not know how you got here.

Understand it is completely okay, and you are not alone in your feelings. I too am guilty of becoming Supermom. At one point I found myself not only doing the items previously stated, but laundry, re-cleaning the bathroom (after big brother has done it) vacuuming, dusting, dishes, playing with the baby, whatever you could think of I was doing it. But my husband said to me one day “okay Supermom what about you?” It dawned on me that I was extremely tired, unbalanced and frustrated. I couldn’t understand why others couldn’t get things done the way I did it or why I felt so tired. Then it hit me, my way is not the only way, I need to accept that and ask for help.

The way we do it is the best way or the cleanest way possible. When the kids do it, it will never be clean enough, when hubby does it, it will never be done just right. We have to learn to be okay with that. It’s not that it’s not done right or clean enough (well maybe when the kids clean it’s not clean enough) it is just there way of doing it. Remember if your mom was to visit, your way isn’t clean enough, or right either. Change your mindset to allow for others to do it in their own way. We celebrate diversity, but just not in our home. Let him/her do it the way he/she feels comfortable. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. The days were the women managed the household is gone. It is okay for hubby to cook. More and more men are able to cook now, matter of fact my hubby is the best cook in our house, so I recently nominated him “Chef” for the duration of our marriage. By recently, I mean as soon as he reads this blog. Sit down with your family and let them know that you need help. Let them know that this is there home too and they need to help take care of it. It will allow your kids to understand how to respect their own things when they get older. I found my older son telling his friends what to do and what not to do when in “his” house. I thought it was so cute, I felt like a proud parent.

The free time that you gain from getting everyone involved will relieve you of the day to day stress that you have attracted. It may give you time to really enjoy your family and most importantly give you time for self. As I constantly tell you (as I tell myself) you are the most important element of your household. If you give without replenishing you will deplete yourself and it could be fatal. You will be surprise how this can help bring the balance back to that scale while you still look and feel even more like a Supermom.

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